Mutant trainers with an evil smile in the latest episode of the 365-day trainer challenge…
Sundays… the day when I can stay in, and wear the trainers I don’t want to wear during the week. Usually that’s because I don’t like them for style reasons. In this case it’s because they’re evil mutant trainers intent on causing me pain.
They’re also another Velcro pair; if you’ve been following this blog, you’ll know my opinion of Velcro-fastened shoes already. But at least it lets me highlight that annoying noughties trend of crossing the fastenings to create and X – the kind of fashion statement only fans of The Only Way Is Essex would think is cool these days. But it does give me a weak reason to give this blog an X-Men theme and show off the fact: I OWN AN ORIGINAL COPY OF X-MEN “DAYS OF FUTURE PAST!” If the film’s massive, I’m going on Antiques Roadshow…
I’ve only ever owned two pairs of Jack Purcell trainers and they’ve both near crippled me if I wore ’em too long. Converse call them with “the only sneakers with a smile”. In my case, it’s the kind of smile Dracula uses on victims just before he exsanguinates. Besides which, Purcells only have a smile if you’re looking at them from front on. When you’re wearing them and you look down, they’ve got grumpy, downturned mouths. Which is fitting.
I don’t know why – thousands of people have worn Purcells for decades without being hobbled – but both pairs agonisingly cut into the top of my foot just above the toes. No amount of lace (or –ugh – Velcro) loosening would alleviate the problem. I must have abnormally protruding metatarsophalangeal joints or something. Forget Antiques Roadshow; Embarrassing Bodies here I come!
(Actually, no. Never understood why people would want to appear on that show. If I had gonads the size of coconuts or a seismic farting problem, it’d be private clinic for me, matey. Embarrassing Bodies alway reminds of an hour-long version of that thing they used to do on The Word called I Would Do Anything To Get On TV: “Marcus would doing anything to be on TV so we gave him an amusing tropical disease. How’s the swelling, Marcus?”)
Apologies for the slightly lower quality than usual photo. Forgot to charge my posh camera last night.
Anyway, Sunday. Looks like it’s going to pour all day and Somerset is going to sink. I’ve got a bunch of freelance to do, so it’s probably a good thing I won’t be tempted out on my bike. Yesterday, I managed to cycles halfway to Wales, which may or may not impressive depending on where I live (you could always look up Willsbridge on Google Maps). But it has given me another idea for a mini challenge. When the weather improves.
Usual sign off:
Current total: £355 (come on, pay day for many of us next week – time to donate!)
• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.
• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.
• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything from 8 to 10) contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can arrange collection.
• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!