Day 55: Nike Of The Living Dead

An X-rated instalment of the 365-day charity challenge in aid of Alzheimer’s Research UK…

Feb 24 b

The dead are walking! They eat “TRAINERZZZZZZZZZZ!!!” Arm yourselves and prepare for Fright Nike. Because zombies…? They got no SOLE man! (A least, not when their feet drop off.)

Helping me survive the zombie apocalypse today are a pair of Nike Air Assaults I picked up in a charity shop for a fiver! Bargain. Never heard of Air Assaults before, but two things come to mind. One, it sounds vaguely like they’re called Nike Aerosols if you say it quickly. Two, they appear to be the camp, showy cousins of the classic Nike Air Force. Put it this way: f M*A*S*H were a TV show about trainers instead of a military medical unit (bear with me), then these guys are the Klinger of the team, trying to get discharged by wearing women’s clothing. That animal hide effect is pure Bet Lynch.

Feb 24 d

If, unlike me (which is very probable indeed) you have no idea what I’m talking about when I say Nike Air Force, then they are the trainers worn by George throughout his entire time on the UK version of Being Human. In the real world, though, you rarely see a grubby pair of Nike Air Forces. Fans of this particular shoe seem obsessed with keeping them Hollywood teeth-style white and pristine. Not entirely sure what this says about them. Or George.

George

But thinking of werewolves (which, of course, is what George was) there’s a thing that bugs me about TV shows and films featuring werewolves (or indeed any shapeshifters) who can change at will, like in True Blood. Why do they always wear really clompy lace-up boots? Surely if you need to change into lupine form quickly, a pair of Vans slip-ons would be easier to kick off than a pair of working boots? Do they walk around with them unlaced all the time, just in case?  Still, maybe they have special “unstable molecule” boots like the Fantastic Four (that can be the only explanation for the wolves in Wolf Blood who change back fully clothed… well, that and because it’s on CBBC, so teenage nudity would be really, really dodgy…).

Don’t forget, The Sole Of Sci-Fi is a year-long charity challenge, in which I aim to wear a different pair of trainers every day throughout 2014 (by means or begging and borrowing and buying them really cheap because my collection has virtually run out). It’s all in aid of Alzheimer’s Research UK, which is a seriously underfunded charity, and every £5 you donate helps them to look for ways to combat this debilitating illness.

And I’d like to get to £500 by the end of February (but I’m not guilt tripping people who have donated already; this blog gets far more hots than the number of donations I’ve received already).

Rant over.

Usual sign-off:

Current total: £475  

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything from 8 to 10) contact me at dave.golder@futurenet.com so we can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Cheers
Dave G

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