Welcome to my garden… it’s the one with the “Beware Of The Plants” sign
For the past year and half – on and off (mostly off to be honest) – my life has been a battle against a pernicious, invasive, alien lifeform. Alien to the UK, at least. It is the plant known as bamboo.
Y’see, I moved into a new house at the end of 2012, and it has a small yard garden. When I arrived, it was full of bamboo. And I mean full. It was like hacking your way through a small, intense jungle. This stuff may be grass, technically, but it’s mighty mutant grass with super strength. Hell, they use this stuff for scaffolding in the Far East.
So while a little bit of bamboo in the corner of a large garden can be attractive (it does sway very soothingly in the wind), a forest of it in a garden the size of a walk-in wardrobe is overkill. And the roots were lifting up paving stones, so Lord knows what they could do the the foundations.
So I’ve been clearing it. This is not an easy job. The roots are like something out of an alien invasion movie, all twisted and knotty and clinging on to anything they can with a stubborn grasp of iron. It’s been hard work, but it’s great when a huge chunk (like the one above) comes up all in one go…
I’m about halfway there now. The garden looks about twice the size it did as compared to when I moved in. And I’ve discovered all sorts of things hidden behind the bamboo veil, including an urn, a porcelain hedgehog, an electric water pump, the fourth episode of “The Tenth Planet”, a bird box and, would you believe, a polystyrene rock.
Yes, the sci-fi journalist has a Star Trek prop in his back yard. Who’d have guessed?
The delightfully garish, DayGlo Adidas trainers are another pair from the Boo collection. They look for all the world like they’ve been designed with the aid of a pack of Stabilo Boss. Speaking of trainers, I forgot to post this yesterday (it was a very busy day) but here’s what Wednesday’s K Swisses did to me.
Who needs to run a marathon to get blisters for charity,eh? I’m physically suffering for the cause here, folks, so the least you can (if you haven’t already) is leave a donation. (Subtle? Me?)
• Current total: £745
• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.
• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.
• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything from 8 to 10) contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org so I can arrange collection.
• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!
Cheers Dave G