Day 266: K9 Meets Size 9s

You’ll note that the tin dog is reluctant to get his nose out…

September 23 main

The Doctor and K9 could often be found playing chess during the mid seasons of the Fourth Doctor’s era on Doctor Who, but some weird space/time anomaly seems to have mutated the chequered board into a pair of knackered grey Vans. Or maybe they’re the “Vandroids Of Tara” (a gag that will only make sense to about three readers of this blog but to them, IT WILL BE THE FUNNIEST PUN EVER! Possibly. Or maybe “fork handles” still pips it).

Douglas Adams apparently hated puns. That didn’t stop him writing that, “Eddies in the time continuum”/“Is he?” gag, did it?

emily rose audrey havenI interviewed the rather wonderful Emily Rose, star of Haven yesterday. I’m rather fond of Haven, despite it being one of the silliest sci-fi shows on TV, and Rose has quite a bit to do with that. Even though she seems to play a different character every season now, she’s still the beating heart of the show. The two lead guys – Lucas Bryant and Eric Balfour – are great as well. It’s a show where the strong central cast – and the chemistry between them – goes a long way to making you forgive the fact that nine-tenths of the mutant threats they have to face are a variation on “if they think/draw/dream it, it will become real!”

There’s also the ongoing problem that the mutation on Haven are referred to as “the Troubles” and afflicted people are “Troubled” which sounds awfully like a euphemism that Noel Coward would use for “women’s problems”: as in the (unused lyric) “Your chances of glances that freeze blood are doubled, If you say something witless while your good wife is Troubled.”

Being the incisive journalist that I am, I asked the vital question: “On a scale of one to ten, how irritating is that there’s a film called The Exorcism Of Emily Rose?” She actually revealed that she’s never seen the film (she’s too easily creeped out by horror films) but her main source of annoyance is that if you Google “Emily Rose” the film has higher Google ranking than she has. So I promised I’d do my bit to help her climb up the rankings, hence an Emily Rose tag on today’s blog.

david-golder-posterIt also occurred to me that this may be the first time in history that someone whose name is a film (David Golder, 1931) has interviewed someone who’s name is also part of a film title. Although it is possible that a journalist called John Carter interviewed John Malkovich about Being John Malkovich, I suppose.

Then I had an idea. Y’see, I’ve never seen David Golder. It always sounds a bit dull, to be honest. But I feel, as a film reviewer by trade, I ought to review my cinematic namesake. Then, I could find a John Carter to review John Carter, and try to encourage Emily Rose to review The Exorcism Of Emily Rose. Finding a Michael Collins, a Jerry Maguire and a Michael Clayton should be easy enough, but hey, could there actually be real people called Benjamin Button or Waldo Pepper? What about Ferris Bueller?

This could end up like one of those projects that Dave Gorman undertakes. Part of the fun would be the reviews themselves, but a lot of the fun would be tracking down the real people.

Is that a good idea? Or should I give up on it now?

See you tomorrow.

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• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

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• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!



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