Day 247: Gorn But Not Forgotten

The gag that time forgot…

September 4 main

Hang on, you’re thinking. That’s no Gorn.

But it should have been.

Y’see, there’s been a Gorn sitting around my mate Simon’s house all year, begging to be used in a Sole Of Sci-Fi photo. He was always earmarked for 4 July. Gorn On The Fourth Of July”, geddit?

Then 4 July came around and I completely forgot. That’s just me.

But then I realised I’d be cat sitting for Simon and his missus on 4 September, so I thought, “Hey, let’s make a gag out the fact I goofed up. I’ll called the blog, ‘Gorn On The Fourth Of Ju… Erm, September,’ and I write a blog about missed opportunities in sci-fi.”

The I got here… and no Gorn! It’s vanished. Gorn, but not forgotten.

But there was a Cylon. And at least you were saved the headline, “Cylon running” because I didn’t bring any running trainers with me! Only these brand new Shimano cycling shoes (size nine, they come with cleats if you want to make an offer).

But I’m forging ahead with missed sci-fi opportunities anyway. It’s still kinda apt. I’m not talking about major things like not cancelling Charmed at the end of season one, or not casting a woman as Doctor Who. I’m talking about silly little things that wouldn’t have changed sci-fi history, but I’d like to have seen.

• First, the last line in Deep Space Nine should have been given to Morn, which would have been amusing as he hadn’t had a single line in seven seasons.

• Sticking with Deep Space Nine, in the spoof James Bond holodeck episode, they should have had a character called Gul Deneye.

mawdryn undead• In the Peter Davison Doctor Who episode “Mawdryn Undead” – which was about a race that gained immortality then grew to regret it – the Doctor says “Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of your actions.” Which is just crying out to be followed up with, “But some of us have to live with them longer than others.” (But “Mawdryn Undead” generally could have done with a bit more fun; the whole story is so ponderously gloomy.)

• In True Blood recently (season seven spoiler here, but honestly, the last season is so crap I doubt anyone will care) Jessica catches Lafayette bonking her vampire boyfriend James. A scene or two later Lafayatte and Jessica argue, with Lafayette pointing out that Jessica doesn’t really care about James. “Do you even know how he was turned?” demands Lafayette? To which Jessica really should have replied, “Yes, by you, about twenty minutes ago.”

• In Smallville, Clark was always wearing clothes that foreshadowed his Superman costume. So why didn’t he wear red Converse All-Star high tops?

Have you got any suggestions you can add to the list?

See you tomorrow.

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• Current total: £1,200 

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

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Day 213: Let Slip The Robo-Dogs Of War

It’s a Shakespeare quotation, y’see. And these are MacBeth trainers… Look, it worked in my mind last night when I thought of it, okay?

August 1 main 2

Loads to cover today, and typically I’m way behind schedule, so I’ll crack on. Today’s trainers are a pair of MacBeths, perhaps most famous for being Vegan trainers. Not that any of my trainers eat animal products… Oh, right, I see – they’re made entirely from non-animal products.

tom delonge in macbethPerhaps slightly less famously, the MacBeth footwear company is owned by Blink-182 guitarist and singer Tom DeLonge. Maybe I ought to try interviewing him for the site. Here he is proudly sporting (promoting?) his own brand on stage.

So I decided to get into a Shakespearean mood with today’s picture. I did briefly think about doing a vegan/Vogon gag and writing the blog completely in rhyme (because believe me, my poetry is probably as bad as Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England’s). I came to my senses, but here’s a picture of a Vogon anyway, because I went to the lengths of finding it.

5585-vogon2_1150187209

Next up, I tried dabbling with the phrase, “Is this a blade I see before me?” (which is from MacBeth) but I couldn’t find a decent enough Wesley-Snipes-in-vampire-mode image that I could make work. Shame…

So instead, I thought I’d use this Muffit the daggit pic from the original Battlestar Galactica, that I’ve been wanting to use even since Pete MacKenzie suggested it on my Twitter feed. At this point I should try to pretend I thought the phrase “Let slip the dogs of war!” was a quote that originated in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but yeah, it’s actually from Julius Caesar. It probably sounds better in the original Klingon, though…

And in case you didn’t know, the film’s subtitle is a Shakespearean phrase too, from Hamlet. How highbrow is this blog today? Well, highbrow for a blog featuring a robot dog.

Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-Trailer-Groot-Rocket-Prison

Rushed out to see Guardians Of The Galaxy at the earliest screening possible yesterday, and adored it so much I wanted to hug it. I’m not giving any spoilers here, but I will say that the character you’ll love the most may not be the one you’re expecting to, and while it only has 12% of a plot (that’ll make sense when you see it) that doesn’t matter, because this one’s all about the characters. It’s funny, inventive, pacy and oozing charm, and eve the action scenes have a feeling of freshness to them, rather than just more superpowered dudes slugging it out.

I’m glad I didn’t have to review it professionally because then I would have had to admit to a a few minor glitches and problems and give it four stars. As it is, I’m doing a highly objective blog, so I can be a shameless fanbot and go, “WooooooooooooHoooooooooooo! Five stars!”

I may also annoy some people by saying it reminded me of Russell T Davies’s era of Doctor Who. But to me, that’s a good thing.

Before Guardians started, though, I was subjected to the usual psychological warfare known as the adverts. Even the trailers were terrible. There was a conceptual one for The Inbetweeners 2 that looked like it had been written and rehearsed two minutes before the cameras rolled (based on a clever idea, admittedly, but really poor in execution). Even worse was the trailer for Expendables 3 which left me thinking, “Those were the best bits?” It had Harrison Ford making a gag about “short notice” while standing next to a short guy, for heaven’s sake! When the trailer for Into The Storm began, I was convinced I was watching an Airplane-style spoof (and not  just me; there was a girl giggling the whole way through the over-the-top images of hurricane destruction, erupting into guffaws when one character says, “Hey guys, it’s splitting!”  She clearly spotted some innuendo I didn’t.)

barney-chocolate-biscuitAll that pales into insignificance compared to the downright unsettling advert for Barney Bear Cakes. I’ve never heard of these before, but the ad featured a young boy being taken off to a fantasy land to have adventures with a “cute” bear, then returning to his kitchen to bite the head off a cake effigy of the same bear! I’m sorry? This is an ad where the cute bear is inviting you to eat him? I think this blog has just come full circle…

hitchhikers dish of the day

See you tomorrow.

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• Current total: £1,075

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

 

 

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Day 209: Frelling Trainers

Farscape’s Chiana admires some Cons that are charity trainers in two ways…

July 28 main

Ah, Farscape, the show that introduced pissing muppets and fart gags to sci-fi. And I loved it.

While a bit of the anarchic spirit of Farscape lives on in Defiance (not surprising since it was developed by the same guy) no SF drama has ever been quite so brilliantly bat’s arse. It embraced concepts and characters that you wouldn’t have expected to work outside of Hitchhiker’s or Red Dwarf, and made them work in a show that could also rip your heart out with emotion at times. It may have silly but it was not lightweight.

This was the show that had two versions of its main character swanning about the universe for a whole season; this was the show that made a star out of neural implant; this was the show that had its main villain appear in a rabbit costume; this was the show that had its star wake up in women’s clothes in a peep show attraction; this was the show that got away with an animated episode for heaven’s sake.

fascape alienThe input from Jim Henson’s Creature Workshop made sure the aliens were truly unique, and the costume design was often like a fetish convention.

I miss Farscape. But at least it ended in style with the Peacekeeper Wars mini-series which was a bizarre and spectacular as any fan could want. The series was an acquired taste, but if you acquired it, you were rewarded tenfold.

Smeg fridgeThe Swear Box

Farscape also followed a grand SF TV tradition of making up swear words that then went on to be used by geeks in day-to-day conversation. Farscape gave us frell, a not very subtle combination of f**k and hell, but also  dren, which never passed into the zeitgeist in quite the same way.

Arguably Red Dwarf started the trend with smeg, a cheeky shortening of “smegma”, the fancy name for knob cheese, that somehow made it past BBC censors. It also meant that no one could ever take a certain brand of fridge seriously ever again.

Admittedly the original Battlestar Galactica had already introduced frak (hmm, that sounds a little bit like f…) in the ’70s, but the word wasn’t popularised in fandom until the reimagined 21st  century series. Thankfully, the original series’ other swear word, felgercarb (which sounds like a performance enhancing drug), was not championed in the new series.

Equally thankfully, nobody over the age of 12 ever thought that using Monk And Mindy’s shazbot (which sounds like an Essex version of the Buffybot) in normal conversations was acceptable.

firefly1Then Firefly came along with, gorram which, despite sounding like the not-very-objectionable “God damned”, remains perennially popular as a geek swear.

Defiance is currently trying to popularise shtako, which is making some inroads into geek culture, but its only vague semblance to sh*t may prevent it becoming the new frell or gorram. Stargate’s Mik’ta was onto a loser from the start as it doesn’t sound like any pre-existing swearword at all… AND IT HAS A FRELLING APOSTROPHE IN IT!

Finally, if you want to be really obscure – but get serious kudos points from anyone else who gets the reference – try using Belgium in a swear word capacity.

Finally, honourable mentions to two non-TV franchises Star Wars for poodoo – which is clearly crap – and Judge Dredd for drokk, which manages to make dross sound about 20 times harder.

A word on the trainers, which are Cons with a curious design on them saying, “DESI(RED)”. The label inside indicate that proceeds for the sale of this range went to AIDS, TB and malaria charities. And now I’ve got them, they’ll be sold on once more in aid of Alzheimer’s Research UK. So a very charitable pair of trainers.

Which reminds me… have you sponsored me yet? These blogs don’t write themselves you know.

See you tomorrow.

Donate buttonUsual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,075

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

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Day 176: Battle Of The Plimsolls

Or Sandshoe Ninja Team Gatchaman as it’s known in its native Japan

June 25 main

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This robot would not be familiar in Japan. That’s despite 7-Zark-7 being one of the stars of Battle Of The Planets, which was the re-edited US version of the Japanese anime Science Team Ninja Gatchman. Because when I say re-edited, I mean chopped up, amended, re-ordered, cut and added to beyond recognition. And one way the American producers could justify and explain all these changes was to introduce exposition droid 7-Zark-7 and his occasional sidekick 1-Rover-1 (a robot dog, in case you hadn’t guessed).

7-Zark-7 was basically the bastard love child of Star Wars’ two main droids, inheriting R2-D2’s looks and C-3PO’s irritating, camp personality. And boy, could he talk, which was handy for padding out episodes where the US producers had excised all references to the main villain being a transexual.

I kid you not.

ZoltarZoltar, or Bergu Kattse as he/she/it was known in the original, was a chimeric mutant created by Sosai X by fusing two fraternal twins (one male, one female) into a single entity for the task of world domination. As a child Kattse would change from male to female on a yearly basis and had to spend years transferring between schools before gaining control of his body.

Zoltar, on the other hand, was a camp bloke in a silly mask.

And because I haven’t got much time again today (it’s my penultimate day at Future, and SFX’s 240th issue party is later in London, so I’ve got a lot to pack in) here’s another article from the SFX archives that I wrote about other famous sex changes in sci-fi…

(Oh, and I hope you’re liking the green stripey socks, worn to try to spice up some dull cheap daps in today’s pic.)

1 Curtis (Misfits)

You can rely on Misfits to take an SF cliché and reinvigorate it in strange and perverse ways. When the 2010 Christmas special ended with the community service superheroes going to dodgy power dealer Seth to get some new powers, we all wondered what cool abilities they’d choose. Curtis somehow ended up with the ability to change into a female version of himself.

Despite helping him escape from the police in the first episode of the new series, this new ability was initially a bit embarrassing for a guy who never shown a hint of a feminine side before, and it was a long while before he let his mates see his other half.  Female Curtis also has to deal with periods, female orgasm, the wandering eyes and hands of leery blokes, date rape and Rudy’s opportunistic muff diving. Rudy is distressed when he discovers that the pube stuck in his throat is a man’s…

And through it all, being a woman teaches Curtis how to be a better man. Who says Misfits is immoral?

2 Godzilla

Fnas of the Japanese Godzilla were less than thrilled with Roland Emmerich’s bizarre decision to turn the clearly testosterone-fuelled giant lizard of the original film series into a doting, egg-laying mom for his maligned US version. Not that we needed this proof to realise that Emmerich’s Godzilla was an impostor. It was clear from the first glimpse she was just an iguana with attitude. God may be a woman. Godzilla certainly is not. As Gareth Roberts nows.

3 Starbuck (and Boomer)

The new Battlestar Galactica was particularly gender-, colour- and species-blind when it came to recasting characters from the old show. Boomer went from being a black male human to an Asian-American female Cylon. The most high-profile sex change, though, was Starbuck’s – Dirk Benedict in the original show was replaced by Katee Sackhoff in the reimagined show, though she still puffed on the odd cigar. Benedict initially seemed happy with the idea; he posed and shared a cigar with Sackhoff for a publicity stunt held, of course, at a Starbuck’s. Later, though, he had a major change of heart, disdainfully referring to his successor as “Stardoe” and saying in an interview in May 2004: “‘Re-imagining’, they call it. ‘Un-imagining’ is more accurate… One thing is certain: in the new un-imagined, re-imagined world of Battlestar Galactica everything is female driven. The male characters, from Adama on down, are confused, weak, and wracked with indecision while the female characters are decisive, bold, angry as hell, puffing cigars (gasp) and not about to take it anymore.”.

4 Doctor Who

For just about every regeneration since Tom Baker’s, there have been rumours that the next Doctor would be a woman. What many forget is that it actually happened – sort of – when Hugh Grant regenerated into Joanna Lumley. “Hang on…?” you might be thinking, “What kind of a cockamamie parallel world have we stumbled onto here?” Welcome to Planet Red Nose, where “The Curse Of Fatal Death” was a one-off comedy episode of Doctor Who produced for 1999’s Comic Relief fundraising exercise on the BBC. Written by Steven Moffat, it’s very funny (a rarity for these kind of events), and features a whole host of actors playing the part of the Time Lord, all of them potential Who material – Rowan Atkinson, Richard E Grant and Jim Broadbent as well as Hugh Grant and Lumley.

The Doctor seems quite delighted to regenerate into her first female self (“I’ve always wanted to get my hands on one of these”) and overjoyed at a new setting she finds on the Sonic Screwdriver. Her companion, Emma (Julia Sawalha), is less enthusiastic, as she was due to marry the Doctor: “I’m sorry, but you’re just not the man I fell in love with.” This leaves the way for a romance to blossom between the Doctor and his old enemy (played by Jonathan Pryce): “Tell me, why do they call you the Master?” “I’ll tell you later…” he says with a lascivious grin..

5 Starhawk

A member of Marvel’s superteam from the future, the Guardians Of The Galaxy, Starhawk (aka Stakar) was forced to live part of his life time-sharing a body with his adoptive sister Aleta Ogord – they took turns occupying the same physical space; while one was “here” the other was banished to some kind of limbo. Somehow this didn’t prevent them developing romantic feelings for each other, and when they were finally separated they had three kids together. It’s all just too weird, really, and if you missed the “origin” story it was near impossible to work out what was going on – it really did seem like Starhawk was just randomly changing sex.

6 Holly/Hilly

If there were ever a character less likely to undergo an unexpected, self-elected sex change it would have to be Red Dwarf’s grumpy, sardonic, world-weary computer Holly. Yet that’s exactly what happened, in the digital equivalent of Jack Dee suddenly becoming Jacquie DeLite. Actually, it’s even weirder. Holly decided to have a “head sex change” after meeting and falling in love with his alternate female self, Hilly – he actually became her! In image at least. That’s like Jack Dee deciding to have a sex change and a facelift to look like his wife..

7 M

Bond’s boss was a man. Then he was a different man. Then he was a woman. Then again, Bond has been a Scotsman, a Welshman, an Englishman, an Aussie, an Irishman, and a catalogue man in a safari suit. So it seems likely Q, M and perhaps even Bond are mere code names, and different people can take up the mantle. Does that mean we could soon have a Jemima Bond? Or is that an even more heinous suggestion than a female Doctor Who?..

8 Orlando

Orlando was a character created by famous literary darling Virginia Woolf for her novel Orlando: A Biography. He was born in the 16th century as a male, and, like Peter Pan, decides not to grow old. He spends a century or so tromping around Europe hobnobbing with historical bigwigs and writing poetry (like an eternal teenager) before one day falling asleep, and waking up sometime later as a woman. After suffering a few teething problems, Lady Orlando soon decides that being female is actually a pretty good thing.

At which point, Alan Moore steps in and decides, “Blimey, you’d make a cracking character for The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” And thus a great, witty, ingenious adventure comic about the likes Allan Quartermain, Captain Nemo and Jekyll & Hyde teaming up for a bit of derring do, suddenly becomes a cul de sac of high brow literary in-jokes for the kind of people who can think James Joyce is a little too trashy.

9 Dr Jekyll & Sister/Ms Hyde

You really wouldn’t want to read a feminist critique of Hammer’s 1971 gender swap take on The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde. Well, think about it – the good Dr Jekyll (Ralph Bates) becomes the evil Sister Hyde (Martine Beswick). It’s not exactly PC is it? More AC/DC. But dodgy gender politics aside, it’s a typically affable piece of Hammer melodrama, and about a million times more watchable than 1995’s Dr Jekyll And Ms Hyde, a “comedy” starring Tim Daly and Sean Young where the real evil comes in the form of the insultingly lame script, and a message about, “To understand women, he had to become one.”

..

10 HG Wells

Yep, in the wacky world of Warehouse 13 HG Wells is a woman. An evil woman. Helena Wells. She never really changed sex. It’s more a conceptual change. Y’see, she wrote all the books back in the 19th century, but had to pretend her brother really wrote them because it was man’s world. For a while she was an apprentice at Warehouse 12, but went off the rails after her daughter was killed, and became obsessed with finding a way to time travel so she could go back and save her. She never seems too worried about missing out on her book royalties, though.

11 Spot

Data’s cat spot in Star Trek The Next Generation was originally a long-haired male moggy. Not that we examined him close enough to check, but Data certainly calls him “he”, and Data’s an android with a positronic brain, so we’ll trust him on that. But then, as the seasons went by, Spot morphed into a short-haired cat that eventually had kittens. We blame some kind of bizarre transporter accident or a fuzzy blue anomaly…..

12 Dren

Some scientists are a bit thick. The modern-day Frankensteins in Splice, Clive Nicoli (Adrien Brody) and Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) (horror fans will get the in-joke in the names) create some artificial slug-like creatures. Unfortunately, they unexpectedly and spontaneously change sex during an ill-timed press conference, and, being male now, they decide to maul each other to bloody pulps. Clive and Elsa then create the far cuter Dren using similar methods, but only cotton on to the fact that she’s due to turn into a psychotic male when it’s a tad too late..

13 Jurassic Park

Nature finds a way. So while scientist John Hammond tried to maintain control over the dinosaurs in his prehistoric theme park by making sure they were all female (so that they couldn’t breed) nature had other ideas. What that silly old duffer Hammond forgot was that he had used frog DNA to help recreate his dinosaurs, and some frogs are known to spontaneously change sex. D’oh! Next thing you know, the big blighters are breeding and getting very aggressive. Men, eh?.

14 Goybirl/Birlgoy/It-Star

It-Star was actually an android, so it’s debateable if he/she ever actually changed sex. He was a “baby” android constructed by Cy-Star, sister of Zelda, the big bad in Gerry Anderson’s ’80s series Terrahawks. Cy-Star was never sure if she wanted a boy or a girl, so she went for a bizarre compromise. At times it would have a male personality, all scheming and evil and speaking in a masculine German accent; at other times it would be all innocent and delicate, speaking in a little girl’s voice. No gender-stereotyping there, then..

15 Ranma 1/2

Ranma ½ is a manga and anime series created by Rumiko Takahashi about a 16-year old boy martial arts protégé who, on a training trip to China, falls into The Spring Of Drowned Girl. As a result, whenever he comes into contact with cold water, he changes into a girl; and whenever she is splashed with hot water, she changes back into a boy. Endless fun at shower time, when somebody else in the house switches on the washing machine. Most teenage boys might find the situation all a bit squirmsome, but the sly, opportunistic Ranma soon learns how to use gender swapping to his advantage..

16 Sasquatch

Sasquatch, a kind of orange, furry, Canadian version of the Hulk, created for Maple Leaf superhero team Alpha Flight, has a history so chequered he makes a Chess board look like a sheet in a Persil advert. Although originally the alter ego of a scientist called Walt Langkowski he’s been a woman twice. When his Sasquatch form went evil, he was killed by team-mate Snowbird, but – after a long series of hiccups far too loony to go into here (but involving the Hulk) – his soul was eventually recovered and placed in the handily-recently-vacated body of Snowbird (now, there’s irony for you). In this female form he became a white Sasquatch with the alter ego “Wanda” Langkowski (see what he did there?). After a while, he became a bloke again. Don’t ask. But the spirit of Snowbird was involved. Presumably she wanted her body back and didn’t like all the hair that clogged up the bath plug.

Later, in Marvel’s Exiles, we met another female version Sasquatch – but this one was woman from an alternate dimension, so that doesn’t really count.

17 Ben/Glory

Ben Glory Buffy

The big bad of Buffy season five was Glory, a Hell dimension goddess (or sommat) too powerful to destroy, so she was banished by two other gods to Earth (gee, thanks guys), where her essence was imprisoned in a human child called Ben. The idea was that when he died, so would she. But when Ben hit his 20s, Glory started to assert control of his body, until they were body swapping like crazy..

18 Sam Beckett

sam beckett in a dressAnd finally, TV’s greatest serial sex changer. It took a season and a bit before the producers of Quantum Leap bit the bullet and experimented with Sam leaping into the body of a woman for the first time in “What Price Gloria?” If they had any worries about the audience reaction to putting their star in drag, they needn’t have. The reaction was overwhelmingly positive, and star Scott Bakula proved so game tottering around in high heels and a dress, that soon gender-swapping leaps were a regular thing.

In “Another Mother” he plays a mother of three who destined to go missing; in “Miss Deep South” he plays a contestant in a beauty pageant; in “8 1/2 Months” he’s just about to pop; in “Raped” he puts in a stunning performance as a rape victim that never veers into distasteful parody; in “A Song For The Soul” he’s a member of an all-female singing group; in “Liberation” he’s burning his bra (literally, at one point); and in “Dr Ruth”… well, actually with this one, maybe they did go a little too far.

 

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,000 (come on, let’s forge on into that second century!)

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at dave.golder@futurenet.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

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Day 112: The Walking Tread

Time to go to plan zombie…

April 22

Okay, I know yesterday I warned you that because of my workload for the next fortnight I would have to cut back on the more elaborate photoshoots, but I didn’t intend today’s to be quite so thrown-together-at-the-last minute! Y’see, I did remember to bring my big, posh camera to the office. What I forgot was to put a memory card in it. So today’s effort was shot on my iPhone without the aid of a tripod of a timer!

Not that I should be worry unduly. Personally, I don’t think any of the photos I posted over Easter have been among my faves (or even in the Top 50) and yet hits on the blog have soared over the past few days. Lots of new visitors and many of them (if I’m interpreting the figures correctly) having marathon sessions, clicking through the archives.

sad kittenNot that it’s translated into any new donations yet, but I’m sure I can guilt trip the newcomers, given time. Look, this kitten is sad that you haven’t sponsored me yet. Make him – and Alzheimer’s Research UK – happy by donating.

Cynical emotional blackmailer? Me? Never!

The trainers belong to SFX editor Dave Bradley. I described them as brown the other day, but they’re actually more fifth colour gold, to be honest. That’s a colour we use in printing when our publishers are too tight to fork out for gold foil on a cover. Fifth colours are usually fluorescent (pinks, oranges, greens, all the colours of a cyclist’s wardrobe) but there are a fifth colour gold silver as well. They’re both rubbish. Fifth colour silver is a kind of gun-metal grey, while fifth colour gold is a kind of greeny, browny, radioactive diarrhea. Best to be avoided.

On the trainers, the colour looks a lot less offensive and I’m liking the corduroy Adidas stripes. But talking of the stripes, I just realised that I missed a trick for Day 111 yesterday – because 111 is a bit like three stripes, isn’t it? I could have created a great visual pun!

The Battlestar Galactica playing cards I put up for sale yesterday were snapped up by Stephen Candy for £20, so maybe I’ll avoid eBay in future and just do on-the-spot sales on this site. Thanks Stephen!

Usual Sign-Off:

• Current total: £745 (I have actually got some money to add to that, but I need to wait a couple of days for PayPal to catch up before I can transfer the funds onto the Sponsor Me site, apparently)

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything from 8 to 10) contact me at dave.golder@futurenet.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Cheers Dave G

 

 

 

 

 

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Day 111: Spring Clean

The Sole Of Sci-Fi presents… some tat

April 21 main

I didn’t mean to start spring cleaning today, but I desperately needed some glue. Y’see, I knocked something off the windowsill in my excitement to whip back the curtains and let the sun in this morning. A Gromit money-box lost his ear (giving a new meaning to “Cracking, Gromit!”). He’s okay now, you’ll be glad to hear.

But in the frantic search through drawers and cupboards I came across a right load of sci-fi tat. It won’t surprise you to know my house is full of it, but stuff I’d forgotten I even had included:

• A Star Wars bag
• A Star Trek bag
• A lenticular ticket to an eXistenZ preview screening
• A Return Of The Jedi Official Collector’s Edition magazine (with a page falling out)
• Candles labelled dynamite (they were a PR freebie for something or other; I can’t for the life of me remember what)
• A Dalek mobile phone thingy which lights up and pulses when your phone rings (which it once did when I was using my mobile to record an interview with Anna Friel)
• Two sonic screwdrivers (one a torch, the other a Nintendo DS stylus which was actually useless as a stylus because it was near impossible to hold correctly)
• A “Ban The Lycans” badge (a PR freebie for one of the zillions of werewolf books I’ve reviewed and I honestly can’t remember which)
• And some (new) Battlestar Galactica see-through plastic playing cards.

April 21 cards

Not changing the subject, but just taking a little detour, I was massively disappointed by the results of my Sole Of Sci-Fi eBay sales, which ended yesterday. The purple Cons sold for about what I expected (£11) but the proceeds from them goes towards buying more trainers for the challenge myself. However the two pairs for which the proceeds were going straight to the charity made a mere £12.50 between them. That’s terrible. I get the feeling the yellow Vans would have sold more without the original David Lloyd art on that! What a shame.

I think I listed them well, with good, enticing photos, but clearly I did something wrong, and I feel I’ve done the charity a disservice.

So I’m going to put these Battlestar Galactica cards up for sale now. But I’m not doing it through eBay, since that was such a failure. I’m going to put a price on them – £20 – and the first person to offer me that via Twitter gets ’em. As you can see on this site, a similar pack sold for $50, so I’m not overcharging!

Today’s trainers are a pair of Pumas I’ve been donated by Martin Fahey, another name destined for the Sole Of Sci-Fi Hall of Fame. Not sure what that means in the greater scheme of things, but it means I’m grateful.

Over the next two weeks, my day job is going to be very, very busy, and I really don’t know how much time I’ll have to devote to this blog. The challenge will go on, and the photos will still be posted, but they may be a bit less extravagant than you’re used to. But normal service will be resumed. In the meantime, donations will still be eagerly received.

Have a good Easter Monday.

Usual Sign-Off:

• Current total: £745 

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything from 8 to 10) contact me at dave.golder@futurenet.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Cheers Dave G

 

 

 

 

 

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