Day 317: Stan Trek Into Darkness

Who parked that spaceship?

I seem to be doing a lot of Trek pics at the moment. Will it overtake Doctor Who as my most lampooned franchise in Sole Of Sci-Fi? I’ll have to tally things up in 48 days.

Ahhhhh, it feels nice to be able to say, “In 48 days”. The end really is in sight.

As for Star Trek Into Darkness, I actually had no problem with it being the extended disco remix of Wrath Of Khan. I thought it was a very entertaining action, sci-fi films. Then again, I’m not massive Trek fan. I like Trek, but I don’t have a massive love of it, so I really don’t have a problem with retconning, or the new writers tackling sacred cows . I thought seeing all the parallels between Wrath and Darkness – how they dovetailed and how they deviated – was all part of the fun.

But I can understand why fans would find the film less satisfying. The Khan in Darkness doesn’t have the resonance of the Khan in Wrath, because the dynamic between Kahn and Kirk in Darkness doesn’t have the same exquisite level of personal grudge. Sure. That I’ll accept. But anybody who – as some fans were – claim that Into Darkness is the worst Trek film ever really ought to have their write to go online taken away. And their replica phasers. And they ought to be locked in a room with a VHS copy of Star Trek V and a VHS player until they beg for mercy.

And then the copy of Star Trek V can be swapped for Star Trek Nemesis.

And finally, thanks to contacts in the Sole Of Sci-Fi network, I get to wear a pair of Stan Smith lace-ups. Seems only right since I was singing their praises on a fashion site earlier this year. Have I mentioned that?

See you tomorrow!

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• Current total: £1,290 

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

Day 315: Where No Cons Have Gone Before

Star Trek V: the scene you didn’t see

Oh look, I’ve discovered my anti-gravity Converse so I can join Spock and Kirk for a bit of mountain… erm… well, not exactly climbing. Looking at Kirk’s face, he’s either pissed I’m cheating, or wishing I’d washed my socks.

Not much to report today, as life is pretty much “cycling to ProCycling, working on ProCycling, cycling home, eat, review a TV episode for SFX, try to fit in when to do Sole Of Sci-Fi” at the moment.

I did notice the it’s all kicked off over on Doctor Who forum Gallifrey Base, though, with the revelation that the “Death In Heaven” received a less-than-average AI (Appreciation Index) figure.

It’s amusing seeing all the reasons/excuses they’re giving, but the most bizarre was that the season finale was too depressing and downbeat. Really? What, more than “Dark Water” which was much darker and received a considerably higher AI result? I’d argue that going on that evidence along, “Death In Heaven” needed to be darker… by which I mean no “love conquers all” ending, silly Cyber Brigadiers, and no Mary Poppins moments. But that’s just me*. There’s probably somebody else out there who thought they were the three best bits.

(*The thing is, I did really enjoy the episode, but when I think back on it, these are the three things that I think of first, unfortunately.)

It all makes for very amusing reading, though.

See you tomorrow!

Usual Begging Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,290 

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

Day 311: Trainers On The Starboard Bow

Trek time again…

Got a puncture yesterday on the way to my first day of work freelancing ProCycling magazine… oh the irony. It’s had a real knock on effect (and means I have to get the bus this morning) so a really brief blog today. Might find time to update this evening…

See you tomorrow!

Usual Begging Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,275 (Thanks Rhian!)

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

Day 247: Gorn But Not Forgotten

The gag that time forgot…

Hang on, you’re thinking. That’s no Gorn.

But it should have been.

Y’see, there’s been a Gorn sitting around my mate Simon’s house all year, begging to be used in a Sole Of Sci-Fi photo. He was always earmarked for 4 July. Gorn On The Fourth Of July”, geddit?

Then 4 July came around and I completely forgot. That’s just me.

But then I realised I’d be cat sitting for Simon and his missus on 4 September, so I thought, “Hey, let’s make a gag out the fact I goofed up. I’ll called the blog, ‘Gorn On The Fourth Of Ju… Erm, September,’ and I write a blog about missed opportunities in sci-fi.”

The I got here… and no Gorn! It’s vanished. Gorn, but not forgotten.

But there was a Cylon. And at least you were saved the headline, “Cylon running” because I didn’t bring any running trainers with me! Only these brand new Shimano cycling shoes (size nine, they come with cleats if you want to make an offer).

But I’m forging ahead with missed sci-fi opportunities anyway. It’s still kinda apt. I’m not talking about major things like not cancelling Charmed at the end of season one, or not casting a woman as Doctor Who. I’m talking about silly little things that wouldn’t have changed sci-fi history, but I’d like to have seen.

• First, the last line in Deep Space Nine should have been given to Morn, which would have been amusing as he hadn’t had a single line in seven seasons.

• Sticking with Deep Space Nine, in the spoof James Bond holodeck episode, they should have had a character called Gul Deneye.

• In the Peter Davison Doctor Who episode “Mawdryn Undead” – which was about a race that gained immortality then grew to regret it – the Doctor says “Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of your actions.” Which is just crying out to be followed up with, “But some of us have to live with them longer than others.” (But “Mawdryn Undead” generally could have done with a bit more fun; the whole story is so ponderously gloomy.)

• In True Blood recently (season seven spoiler here, but honestly, the last season is so crap I doubt anyone will care) Jessica catches Lafayette bonking her vampire boyfriend James. A scene or two later Lafayatte and Jessica argue, with Lafayette pointing out that Jessica doesn’t really care about James. “Do you even know how he was turned?” demands Lafayette? To which Jessica really should have replied, “Yes, by you, about twenty minutes ago.”

• In Smallville, Clark was always wearing clothes that foreshadowed his Superman costume. So why didn’t he wear red Converse All-Star high tops?

Have you got any suggestions you can add to the list?

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,200 

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Day 232: Let Them Eat Nike

The replicators are on the blink…

I did warn you that a busy week meant I’d be falling back on good old stand-bys like Star Trek and Doctor Who, so no apologies for a replicator gag so soon after a transporter gag. Actually, this is one I’ve had planned as an “emergency quick one” for a while – easy to bung together quickly. After all, all I had to do was stand in a replicator. I had one installed in the kitchen a while back in preparation.

The reason I’m so busy this week is because I’m writing a book, which isn’t quite as exciting as it sounds. I’m not about to become the new Philip Pullman. I’m providing the words for an art book, so it’s kinda like literary Polyfilla – nobody actually reads the words in these books, do they? The words are there more as a piece of design to provide breathing space between the pictures.

But I’m putting in my usual above-and-beyond effort and I’ve been over-researching like crazy. And I get credited on the cover as “author” which can only look good on my CV.

The theme is dystopias, and I’ve unearthed some great factoids. But none is better than this: film composer Hans Zimmer (the Dark Knight trilogy) was a member of ’80s technopop combo The Buggles. He’s even (briefly) in the promo clip for “Video Killed The Radio Star” (that’s him on the left).

That was the first video ever played on MTV and it was directed by Highander helmer Russell Mulcahy, who went on to create his own dystopic movie with Highlander 2 (though we’d all rather forget that). Mulcahy also dabbled with dystopian imagery in the Duran Duran videos for “Union Of The Snake” (a song which will forever more make you pronounce “union” as “you neon”) and the wonderfully overblown “Wild Boys”, which looked like Mad Max 2 with more dancing.

Mulcahy didn’t actually direct “Union Of The Snake” but he did come up with the concept, and it shows.

Ah, the ’80s, when pop stars were required to become instant actors in “concept” videos, and the drummers always look nervous and shifty, like they’re embarrassed their mates might actually see them doing this crap…

As for what the lyrics os “Union Of The Snake” are all about? God knows. Simon LeBon hinted it had something to with, “the fears of the subconscious mind breaking through to the conscious mind.” One website I’ve found is convinced it’s all about the Illuminati. Me? I’m going all Carry On again. I mean, come on: “The Union Of The Snake is on the climb” say the lyrics. That’s just a euphemism for, “I’m getting hard,” surely?

Oh, and Hans Zimmer also wrote the theme tune for the quiz show Going For Gold.

I’m not making this up.

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,110

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Day 229: Jack and Bill

Red shirt in white plimsolls…

James T Kirk and Jack Purcell return from an away mission, Jack strangely more in focus than his captain. It must be one of those transporter malfunctions.

I’m braving another pair of Converse Purcell’s today, and once again – like the ones earlier this year – they really pinch despite being size nine. Still, it’s a Sunday, I’m not going anywhere (mostly because I’ve got three quarters of a review book to read and the deadline’s tomorrow) so I might as well tick them off the list when I don’t have to do much walking. What I can never understand is why loosening the laces doesn’t make them more comfortable. They don’t pinch on the toes but rather on the boney bit at the top of my feet, but you can rip the laces out and they still seem to pinch!

They’re obviously a brand not designed for my feet. I’d assume I have mutant feet, except no other trainers I’ve worn this year have the same problem. It’s a shame, because if Purcell’s actually fitted me, I’d probably buy a pair – hell, if they’re good enough for James Dean, they’re good enough for me – but these are going back to the owner (a really skinny mate from way back; maybe that’s the clue, you have to have skinny feet).

Had a great bike ride yesterday. Managed to get from Willsbridge to my favourite canal side cafe at Dundas Aqueduct in less than hour – particularly impressive considering I was stuck for about five minutes behind a machine cutting the hedges. Just to give you an idea what my trip was like – including the wonderfully freaky tunnels that are screaming to be used in a sci-fi film or TV show – he’s a YouTube vid I found featuring (most) of the return journey.

The aqueduct is about  mile away from where this vid starts, and I leave the cycle path at 38:25 (you can just see the exit if you pause). The guy doing the video obviously cycles a lot faster than I do, though he doesn’t encounter any hedge-cutting vehicles, to be fair.

The Warmly Waiting Room, which has a (hidden from view on the cycle path) Tardis toilet is at 45.58.

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,110

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Day 215: Holodeck Shoes

A holodeck malfunction results in some mustard Nikes going on the blink…

Ah, the Star Fleet holodeck, the tech with so many gremlins Joe Dante wouldn’t know what to do with them. The damed things went wrong so often you wonder why they don’t permanently have an Out Of Order sign on the door. The damned things even created sentient life, for heaven’s sake (most famously a self-aware Moriarty from a Sherlock Holmes holonovel) but rather than treating this like the greatest breakthrough in science ever, Star Fleet seems to regard the whole thing like a annoying software glitch.

Thank God holodecks didn’t come equipped with their own version on Microsoft Word Paperclip Man (“Hello, you appear to be creating an evil, murdering Klingon criminal warlord…”) – imagine the horror of that accidentally going sentient.

It’s a brief blog today as the parents are arriving in less than three hours and the house needs a tidy. We’re off to have lunch at a garden centre which boasts a Spike from Buffy garden ornament. I kid you not. Hopefully I’ll get photographic evidence this time. If we get there early enough we may be able go eat inside a giant earthenware pot. This place is not your usual garden centre.

Spent most of yesterday afternoon in a pub on a hill in Box, not far above where Mitchell went postal in Being Human, and apparently above some underground caves that contain 20% of the UK’s greater horseshoe bat population (although I’ve done an internet search and been unable to confirm this boast, the greater horseshoe – which is rare – is definitely found in the area). I was drinking with SFX editor-in- chief David Bradley and we also created “experiential sperlunking” – though that was after a few pints and I can’t recall what the hell it was.

Anyway, on with the tidying…

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,090 (Hurrah! Thank you Zoe Gould!)

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Day 213: Let Slip The Robo-Dogs Of War

It’s a Shakespeare quotation, y’see. And these are MacBeth trainers… Look, it worked in my mind last night when I thought of it, okay?

Loads to cover today, and typically I’m way behind schedule, so I’ll crack on. Today’s trainers are a pair of MacBeths, perhaps most famous for being Vegan trainers. Not that any of my trainers eat animal products… Oh, right, I see – they’re made entirely from non-animal products.

Perhaps slightly less famously, the MacBeth footwear company is owned by Blink-182 guitarist and singer Tom DeLonge. Maybe I ought to try interviewing him for the site. Here he is proudly sporting (promoting?) his own brand on stage.

So I decided to get into a Shakespearean mood with today’s picture. I did briefly think about doing a vegan/Vogon gag and writing the blog completely in rhyme (because believe me, my poetry is probably as bad as Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England’s). I came to my senses, but here’s a picture of a Vogon anyway, because I went to the lengths of finding it.

Next up, I tried dabbling with the phrase, “Is this a blade I see before me?” (which is from MacBeth) but I couldn’t find a decent enough Wesley-Snipes-in-vampire-mode image that I could make work. Shame…

So instead, I thought I’d use this Muffit the daggit pic from the original Battlestar Galactica, that I’ve been wanting to use even since Pete MacKenzie suggested it on my Twitter feed. At this point I should try to pretend I thought the phrase “Let slip the dogs of war!” was a quote that originated in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but yeah, it’s actually from Julius Caesar. It probably sounds better in the original Klingon, though…

And in case you didn’t know, the film’s subtitle is a Shakespearean phrase too, from Hamlet. How highbrow is this blog today? Well, highbrow for a blog featuring a robot dog.

Rushed out to see Guardians Of The Galaxy at the earliest screening possible yesterday, and adored it so much I wanted to hug it. I’m not giving any spoilers here, but I will say that the character you’ll love the most may not be the one you’re expecting to, and while it only has 12% of a plot (that’ll make sense when you see it) that doesn’t matter, because this one’s all about the characters. It’s funny, inventive, pacy and oozing charm, and eve the action scenes have a feeling of freshness to them, rather than just more superpowered dudes slugging it out.

I’m glad I didn’t have to review it professionally because then I would have had to admit to a a few minor glitches and problems and give it four stars. As it is, I’m doing a highly objective blog, so I can be a shameless fanbot and go, “WooooooooooooHoooooooooooo! Five stars!”

I may also annoy some people by saying it reminded me of Russell T Davies’s era of Doctor Who. But to me, that’s a good thing.

Before Guardians started, though, I was subjected to the usual psychological warfare known as the adverts. Even the trailers were terrible. There was a conceptual one for The Inbetweeners 2 that looked like it had been written and rehearsed two minutes before the cameras rolled (based on a clever idea, admittedly, but really poor in execution). Even worse was the trailer for Expendables 3 which left me thinking, “Those were the best bits?” It had Harrison Ford making a gag about “short notice” while standing next to a short guy, for heaven’s sake! When the trailer for Into The Storm began, I was convinced I was watching an Airplane-style spoof (and not  just me; there was a girl giggling the whole way through the over-the-top images of hurricane destruction, erupting into guffaws when one character says, “Hey guys, it’s splitting!”  She clearly spotted some innuendo I didn’t.)

All that pales into insignificance compared to the downright unsettling advert for Barney Bear Cakes. I’ve never heard of these before, but the ad featured a young boy being taken off to a fantasy land to have adventures with a “cute” bear, then returning to his kitchen to bite the head off a cake effigy of the same bear! I’m sorry? This is an ad where the cute bear is inviting you to eat him? I think this blog has just come full circle…

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,075

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

 

 

Day 202: Monkey Puzzle

A blog that would have been called 12 Eye Holes, until I realised thes Cons had 14 eye holes each…

Brief blog today as I have to be all sensible in my new role as a freelancer this morning and meet my new accountant at 9.30. I feel all grown up. It’s taken long enough.

Anyway, while I try to figure out what this “Army Of The 12 Monkeys” graffiti is all about (did I hear something go ding?) here’s a little treat for you. As I told you in yesterday’s blog, I spent Sunday at Bristol Harbour festival, drinking, eating cake, buying Elvis sunglasses and chilling with Helen, Rob and Amy. And once again, the festival held some sci-fi related surprises. Including the one below. I have no idea who the band were, as we missed the announcement. They just started to play a very familiar tune as we were walking past. (Their Ennio Morricone cover was great t0o…)

And don’t forget! I need new donations to make sure I attempt a mini challenge in  Ausgust. See Saturday’s blog for details.

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,060

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!

Day 200: Bicentennial Party Time

Some old Sole Of Sci-Fi friends return to celebrate the blog reaching the latest landmark

Turn up the sole music and break out the synthehol, it’s time to throw some moves (full marks Khan!) and celebrate Day 200 of Sole Of Sci-Fi.

How many of these old friend of the blog do you recognise. Here they are from another angle to help you out (though they’re not all in both – some had clearly nipped off to the bar).

I’m not going to wibble on today – I’ve got a lot of work to do today (well, a lot to watch to write about next week). But I do want to announce a desperate attempt to reverse a mid0year slump in donations.

Because I think some people seem to think it’s only worth sponsoring someone if they’re doing something sporty, if I manage to raise another £100 before the end of July I will cycle the entire 85 miles of the Avon Cycleway in one day during August. If I raise £150 I’ll do it wearing the Spider-Man costume I wore on Day 11. Photographic evidence will, of course, be posted on the blog…

I’m happy to accept new donations from people who have sponsored me already, but if you have, try and convince somebody who hasn’t, pointing out that I’m actually going to be doing something involving physical exertion and looking a tit. Please spread the word!

See you tomorrow.

Usual Sign-Off

• Current total: £1,060

• Remember this is all for charity, so any pennies or pounds you can spare PLEASE DONATE BY CLICKING HERE.

• Follow me on Twitter to make sure you see what trainers I’m wearing each day.

• If you have any trainers you could donate (either on loan or old pairs you’re getting rid of) which are size 9 (ish – I can do anything  from 8 to 10) contact me at davegolderSFX@gmail.com so I can arrange collection.

• Please, please, please leave comments below! I’m after ideas for mini-challenges, future photoshoots and how I can find enough pairs of trainers!